To write, or not to write: that is my dilemma

Whether the writing is to post on this blog or up the word count on my latest MS, I'm unable to commit the time to the task. I've lost the motivation and can't seem to find it. I'm in a writing slump folks, and I don't know how to claw my way out of this hole.

:(

Suggestions?

I am still addicted to writing boards, writing blogs, reading about writing contests, and every time I read a success story I think "See! Why aren't I doing that? Where am I aiming?" I have lost my focus and am worried my blurry sight won't clear. Every night I turn on my computer, I start Word at the point I last stopped, but I cannot write any new words on the page. It's sad, really, because this new story deserve to be told.

I think I'm just afraid to tell it. I'm definitely afraid I won't do it justice.

And I don't know how to turn off all of these doubts.

Sooo...yea. Hi!

It's been too long. I know. Not that anyone's missed me I'm sure, but I've missed this outlet. The truth is that it's been a very hard winter for my family and me. If the hurdle to overcome wasn't yet another virus attacking my kids or me or my in-laws, it was work, or personal troubles. I think most of that's behind me now. Almost. Kinda. Came home today to learn my Monkey has a temperature and upset stomach. Poor thing is trying to keep the crackers down right now - and is failing.

:(

As far as the writing goes: I took part in an self-editing workshop for some of Jan and learned that I don't know how to write a beginning. (insert another sad face here) I HATE the first quarter of my UF. It's choppy, the writing mediocre, the plot all but buried in exposition. Re-writing is the only way to salvage the piece and I don't have the will right now. I've started redoing page one at least three dozen times and am completely fed up. This probably means I'm starting in the wrong place. But then I don't know where the right place is! And...and...

I've shelved it for now. I'll come back to it later because I love the rest of the piece but that first quarter is not working.

However, thanks to a little story nugget my cousin provided me, I'm slowly working on a new piece. One that starts in the right place so I don't torture myself with this issue again. Thank goodness. Also, I've decided not to be so rigid with the story structure. Though keeping track of words per day and pages per chapter worked before, I want to take my time with this piece and really let it gel. I didn't give the other piece that chance.

Here's hoping it pays off.

The end of NaNo but not The End

Yes yes, NaNoWriMo ended 6 days ago. However, I retreated from almost everything writing related after day 30. I've spent the time recovering from the over-caffienation, over-stimulation, and general awesomeness that was the support of the NaNo community. I hope I have the energy to do this next year. Hmm, should probably stock up on candy bars, coffee gift cards, and wrist braces, cause oh did my wrists suffer.

All worth it though. During the month of Nov I managed to write 67,232 words which put my WIP at 81,352 words. 90% complete yo!* I can finally sees "the end" on the horizon. It looks...blurry. : )

I'm still not positive how Carmen is getting from the climax to the finish. I know where I want her to end up, even have a picture of the scene in my head, but these last few chapters have been torturous. Partly because I am literally torturing Carmen, the other part because I'm not sure I'm being realistic about the level of mean. In fact, might have to get meaner. Still not sure how that will work.

See - fuzzy.

While I've been mulling on that, some story points became clear and my desktop is full of stickies with those ideas before they can flit away. Thank goodness these are the electronic kind. I am easily finding my little reminders and best of all, Monkey can't take them away to make them "pretty" with her crayons and Munchkin can't run away with them period. Kid is a genius at hiding stuff at 14 mos. Only good things can come from this, right?

Yea, didn't think so.

*Yes, I said "yo". I blame my baby sister, nine years younger than me, who tries to influence my 4 yo to talk this way but manages to stick the worms in my head instead. Thank goodness her lesson in teaching Monkey thug-talk failed. Instead of "gangsta", 4yo kept saying "gang-STAR!" So much cuter. Though I could have done without her throwing a peace sign as she said it.

My family - they's classy.

Let me live vicariously through you!

Thanks to a bug that made me lose almost an entire week of necessary writing, I cannot take part in #PitchWars. I always seem to miss the awesome opportunities. *sobs quietly* If it's not having a baby, it's sick baby, or worst of all - sick me. Seriously, you don't want to be in my house right now. I think my roof is where all germs percolate and become bigger, badass versions of themselves. Outbreak? Child's play. Contagion? *scoff* I don't need no pig-bat infested banana to bring you down - my virus is home made.

:P

If your manuscript is finished and polished, go check out bios from mentor links on Brenda Drake's blog. All of the mentors seem awesome. They're witty and fun and the competition has been fierce amongst the mentors. I can't count the number of times I saw Ninja stars, poisoned apples, and bows & arrows tossed around cyberspace. All in good fun, though. As far as I know no mentors or unicorns were actually hurt during the verbal throwdowns.

I've been stalking following the mentors since the #PitchWars hastag pinged my radar. I would know ;) If you take part, let me know so I can stalk your every move as well. Don't worry, I won't hurt you, I just gots ta know!

Hopefully I'll be ready when the next pitch event rolls around. Please let there be one soon!

*wish granted*

Oh - here's another pitch opportunity I just picked up on: #PitchMas. Again, I won't be able to take part because submissions can be submitted on 12/6 via Twitter.

*sobs loudly* *disturbs cat who offers a dirty look as he stalks to a quieter corner*

But seriously, let me know if you pitch. I'll hold hands with you, make you coffee (note to self: must recall how to make coffee), and offer chocolate as we wait for your result.

Good luck to all!

The next big thing blog hop

You heard the news about Pitch Wars the other day, but have you considered it for yourself? I know it's a scary prospect to put your baby out there for the world to judge - I know I'm terrified - but this is an opportunity to get advice from someone in the know before you enter the slush pile.

The very generous Kathleen Doyle has passed along a blanket invite for "the next big thing" to anyone interested. This is a chance to shoutout your MS and hopefully catch the eye of the mentors prior to pitch time.



1. What is the title of your book?

Damaged

2. Where did the idea come from for the book?

Well, the idea nudged me back in 2010 based on the whole "Dec 2012" prediction. I wanted to borrow the theme, not actually say "boom! and there were zombies". The question became: what would we do the monsters of our imagination became real? Worse, if they wore the faces of our loved ones? In this alternate now, the change came much earlier than 2012 and the result was an infection of the spirit rather than the body. We are given strength, stamina, and enhanced senses, but the cost is our humanity. Is there a cure? Can the intruding spirit be eradicated once it's embedded in our soul?

Oh, but I should clarify: there are no zombies in my story. My only interest in a zombie is using it for target practice.

3. What genre does your book fall under?

Urban Fantasy - with romantic elements

4. Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?

The best part of this exercise? Putting faces with the names :)



Daniella Alonso as Carmen. But with blue eyes. She's burdened by her mom's death and has waited 22 years for her revenge. She lives by certain rules and lumps her life into black and white boxes. She avoids the grey, she's not good with grey.

Blake Lively as Madison, Carmen's closest friend. She's sexy and she knows it. She would love for Carmen to live by her example for a day in the hope of permanent removal of stick from ass - in her expert opinion

 

Shahid Kapoor as Dev - the man who insists Carmen put aside her goals for his. As men sometimes do. At least he's got a good reason for being all "I am man, cook me dinner". His little girl needs saving.

Kidding. He does not ask for dinner. He's sure Carmen would knock him on his ass if he tried

Aimee Kelly as Ella. She might seem like the victim now, but she's got baggage as heavy as Carmen's and will have her own day to act on it

 

5. What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

Carmen, born with a spirit dragon that resulted in her mom’s murder, secretly seeks the killers while formulating a cure for her unique case of Animism, but must set it all aside to release Ella from her lab before the director dissects the youngest known person marked by an Animal and bottling her "gifts".

6. Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

I'm open to either option - as long as someone helps me with marketing.

7. How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

I wrote a complete first draft about two years ago. Since then I've digested articles and guidelines and methods on writing. Prior to this NaNo, I ripped apart that first draft and restructured the story. You could say I'm in heavy edits now. That's what I tell myself anyway.

8. What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

Kelley Armstrong's Women of the Otherworld, Devon Monk's Allie Beckstrom, Nalini Singh's Guild Hunters, and Jaye Wells's Sabina Kane series. I aspire to mimic these wonderful author's grit, heart, character, and world building, but I'm sure I fall way short.

9. Who or what inspired you to write this book?

I wrote a great many stories that will never see the light of day because I couldn't connect with my own characters. Carmen's story is the first one I had a visceral reaction to. We both had difficult childhoods that shaped us into the women we are. I can't do any of the cool things she does, but I want to be with her as she overcomes her demons.

10. What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

Strong women who think for themselves, magick, and inner demons that literally mark you. You'd better read this now as a how-to guide for dealing with your demon. There's an end date, after all. Supposedly 12/21/12. Shoot! We've got to move quickly!


I can't think of anyone specific to tag, so I leave this open to anyone who's interested. Unless you're pitching to the adult genre mentors as well. In that case, I will hurt you.

;)