Had an Epiphany Today

My current piece is not going to work. Why? Because, though I love the characters and premise, my hero is not going to grow in the most important way: he's not forced to sacrifice to save the girl. What I thought a big step on his part was diminished during editing last night, and I don't know how to fix it. Argh!

Back on the Horse

Ok, so after two months away, and my little whine, I kicked my butt into gear and got back into the swing of writing. I'm starting kind of slow by revising a novella I am absolutely submitting by Sunday no matter how much the demon Doubt nags me. She's such a bi-atch, don't ya know?

Oh, and if you've got a complete, single title length romance ready to go, check out http://casablancaauthors.blogspot.com/ where Deb Werksman of Sourcebooks is taking pitches today only. Hurry over.

~Hetal

Is This Thing On?

Hello world, how have you been in the, oh, almost two months I've been away? Working harder than me, or hardly working as I have been? I tried, I really tried to accomplish some things during my time off, but only succeeded in delaying and doubting my abilities more. You're probably thinking "well get over it", and I wish it were that easy, but my self-doubt has been reinforced more and more lately by none other then hubby.

He was very supportive in the beginning of my journey  - when I supplied a supplemental income to the household - but the cheers have quieted down since then. For a year since the lay off I've been trying hard join the workforce, but it just seems Columbus, OH doesn't want to help me out. I know it's hokey, but I believe in forces outside oneself, and after the first few months of silence I thought, hey, maybe this means I should be pursuing this other thread. All well and good, if I didn't have someone breathing down my back about snipping it for the "more substantial" line. *sigh*

It's put me in a rut I'm not ashamed to admit. I don't think hubby doubts my abilities - though he's never seen one of my pieces - he just wishes that I'd be more focused on the job hunt. Hey, I apply to everything that appeals to me and I feel a good fit for, but he's trying to push me into arena's I have no interest in being a participant of. Let's just say the home fires aren't burning so cheerily right now and they're distracting me like no other.

I should've labeled this entry "dear diary", and forewarned of the pity party I was dumping on this page so you'd feel better about ignoring it. Truth be told, I just needed to tell someone of my woes, and throwing it onto the blog appealed to me.

Did you know the root of my name means "happiness"? Bet not, I didn't for about twenty one years of my life.  :)  Still, once I found out I thought of how appropriate it seemed. I'm generally a cheery person, always trying to look on the bright side of things, but haven't been able to get past my clouds lately. Maybe I need to get back to the root of things and not worry about the rest. Easier said than done, no?  Well, I'll try to keep you posted.

Rambling over. Onward ho!

~Hetal

Catching Up

You've no idea how many times I've started writing a new post only to quit one or two sentences in. My brain fizzled and fried on the pan that used to be the creativity of my mind. Not a very good sign, I'd say, except that my writings coming along quite smoothly. Granted I'm using a whole different approach - a pantser/plotter combo - so maybe this means I've found my stride. Nailing my "voice" however, eludes me.  :)

My online friend Ferdous asked in a recent comment: how do you keep track of the story without plotting? Do you find yourself veering down a wrong path requiring rewrites of a previous chapter? Well, let me tell you, even when I plan, the characters often drag me a different direction. Despite the most in depth character sketch, the character might reveal quirks about themselves I never would've thought of. I think it's that organic bit I love most about writing, the constant learning, not only of mechanics, but also of each person we create.

Okay, and I know this is many days (weeks?) late, but I want to thank Kaily Hart and Ju Dimello for the Happy Cupcake Awards they passed onto me. And now, I must reach into that big bag of tricks inside me and list ten things that make me happy.

1. Newly fallen snow
2. My baby's smile. She does this scrunching of her entire face, wrinkly nosed thing...well, you prob have to be there.
3. The hubby doing dishes without being asked.
4. My baby's laugh, a rarity really, because even when tickled, she more grunts then giggles.
5. A lazy Sunday morning.
6. When the sister's and I get together because craziness ensues.
7. When my mom and dad smile at one another. Really. Their marriage might have been arranged, but they are one of the lucky couples who really learned to love each other after.
8. When baby girl tries to pull cranky cat onto her lap. She adores the fatty but the feeling's not so mutual.
9. Pride and Prejudice. I literally smile every time this movie plays. Book's pretty good too. ;)
10. Chocolate. The kind filled with caramel's the best!

~Hetal

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

So says the tortoise, but I was really hoping to write more like the hare.

Every weeknight, after Monkey's down for the night, I am dedicating at least an hour to my writing. Now, so far, I've been pretty good about this. Other than a little hitch last weekend that threw off my schedule, I'm back on track, and though I'm managing at least 1500 words a night, I really wish I were going faster.

I don't think I've ever contemplated this much as I'm writing. I've reverted back to writing by the seat of my pants with the basic plot in mind after a short stint at trying to plot an entire piece. The words are flowing once more without any tooth pulling, but the output is pretty slow. I know, I shouldn't be discouraged, but I've always run slightly faster than this and it's disconcerting. My mind only wants to do one chapter a night and then checks out.

I'm going to try pushing past this wall...Tomorrow.  Good night for now.  :)

~Hetal